The Big Day

I had scheduled an ultrasound and check up with my doctor the same day. I had reached my weekly visits with my ob/gyn and needed to keep an eye on the amniotic fluid. One week it was a bit low, the following normal and the other test showed it was steady.

On that day I would get the news that my fluid was at 2.8. I was off to my doctor’s office and Googled it in the car ride and couldn’t find anything and was a bit frustrated. My honey told me not to worry and that we’d talk to the doctor about it and he’ll explain everything. My honey made the decision to stop by the house and pick up our hospital bag and leave Rocky, our 7-year-old Siberian husky, with fresh water and dinner in case I’d go into labor.

I went in and met with my doctor. One of the front desk receptionists came in and said, “We got the results from the ultrasound. We made a note.”

The doctor looked at me and said. “This could be it.”

I had two editorial meetings at the office that day and a call with a company CEO for a feature I was working on the following. I wasn’t prepared. Good thing it was a Thursday and my honey was off from work.

The doctor checked me and said I was 3 centimeters and that I was going to the “white place” as he called it. I was terrified. I didn’t want to leave work unfinished nor did I feel prepared to go into labor. But then again, I didn’t think I was prepared to get pregnant either so I began to control myself.

I remember calling a colleague almost in tears because I was so scared of what was to come. My honey held my hand and calmed me down. We arrived and he dropped me off while he went to look for parking. I walked through the sliding doors, went to the admitting floor and signed myself in. I waited about 30-45 mins for them to prepare the room. I was excited, nervous and scared all at once.

I did my best to cope with the contractions (which in all honesty weren’t that bad). It just felt like your stomach was tightening up for a few seconds.

I was given pitocin to help make the contractions stronger so that I’d go into labor. I spent almost the entire day on that hospital bed — 18 hours to be exact. My doctor checked me again. He said I only reached 6 cm and that I needed an emergency c-section because my pelvis was too small to push him out.

Disappointed and frustrated, I prepared myself. My honey went with me and held my hand once again. I was given an epidural. The worst pinch I had ever felt. The anesthesia worked immediately.

I felt movements. It was very uncomfortable. My honey continued to hold my hand throughout, reminding me that everything will be fine — even after he watched them pull out my organs and place them to the side.

The doctor showed me the little guy over the drape. I was too drugged up to pay attention. My honey was a little choked up when he said the words, “baby, he’s beautiful.” I wanted to react but I couldn’t. What I really wanted was rest.

Before going into the operating room I was asked if I’d be breastfeeding or using formula. I said breastfeeding. I wasn’t aware that I’d be feeding him right after birth.

I was rolled into the recovery room and the nurse and my honey helped me up. Before she stepped out she said she would bring the baby for me to feed.
Exhausted and moody, I regretted the conversation of breastfeeding prior to surgery.

When he was placed into my arms I snapped out of it. I wanted him with me forever. He latched on and I knew we would forever have a special bond. I love my son. Forever and always.


4 Comment

  1. […] You often hear about the perks of motherhood, but there is nothing like witnessing your child’s first breath, or holding them close after hours of labor. I know because I experienced every possible emotion on the big day. […]

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