Trusting Yourself

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve ever learned after becoming a parent has been to trust myself. 
You can really drive yourself insane by searching on Google for every little thing you come across as a parent. 
After my son turned one I gave up panicking about the slightest things. It was like a gift to myself: No more acting like psycho Tima. 
Of course, I couldn’t do it without a pep talk from his godmother and my long-time friend, Meli. She’s always been known to slap some sense into me.
Learning The Ropes
I know it only seems easier than it really is, but there are times I just don’t know how in the world I manage to raise these boys. 
I joke around with Jeff saying that whenever I have to go out with our boys, I feel like a single mother. And it can really feel that way. 
For a long time — practically most of the first year we spent here in South Florida — I feared going food shopping with my son. I would stack up on everything so I wouldn’t have to do it again for a while. 
Genius move, right? Not really. 

Shopping was the easy part. Unpacking our car was the toughest. It would take me a good 10 minutes to unload the car when I had Sebastian. I was constantly trying to figure out the best way to unload the car and still nurse him back to sleep when we’d come in from the store. 
It was like a nightmare! He’d cry, I’d get frustrated. Forget it! I’d bring the food inside the entrance of our home and deal with putting it all away after I cared for the little one. 
But then I tried something even more brilliant. We added a second child to the mix. This time, I knew trusting myself was what I really needed to do. 
‘Playing Favorites’
With my first-born, I had to do a lot of soul-searching and figuring out not only about myself but the best way to care for my son. Jeff helped a lot during this crazy time in my life. 
I think I cried more than both kids combined. 
The first time I left our home with both kids, I was a lot stronger. Of course I questioned if I could even do it, but when I saw the Mama & Papa, I knew I was set. 
When we arrived to the store, I strapped our newborn to my chest in the Mama & Papa like Rambo headed to fight. 
I was ready for whatever was to come. 
And our toddler was ready right there with me. We walked side by side, hand in hand. We were going to conquer this trip. 
But then the crying started. You know, the newborn “I’m hungry” cry. 
We picked up the essentials from Costco and headed to the food court — it’s been a tradition for Sebastian and I. Popped a boob out, and fed the little guy while the toddler and I shared a pizza and sweet tea. 
Now, this was the “new” me. The old me would’ve rushed out of Costco and into the car and fed my hungry baby. I would’ve forgotten about my own needs, and catered to his. 
But there was no need to jump into action if we were already going to eat as a family. Plus, I need to set a good example for the boys in showing them how important it is to manage their time. 
This time around, I’ve learned to trust myself in making the right decision for my family. Although getting out of the house might seem like challenge with two little ones, it’s a blessing to see their happy faces. 
Learn more about our random trips over on Instagram: bit.ly/MTMEinstagram

35 Comments

  1. Masshole Mommy

    March 3, 2016 at 7:17 PM

    I remember being SO nervous going out for the first time with 2 kids. My oldest had just turned three and I was really worried, but it was all good.

    1. Fatima Lora

      March 3, 2016 at 8:48 PM

      It's not easy leaving the house with two, but it's funny how I do it more often than not these days.

  2. Kait

    March 3, 2016 at 7:53 PM

    I don't have children, but I really love this post. Anytime bloggers open up and talk about genuine fears, questions, etc. — I pay close attention! I give all you moms out there so much credit!!

    1. Fatima Lora

      March 3, 2016 at 8:49 PM

      Thanks, Kait. It's not always, but getting out of the house is essential.

  3. Tanya @ Moms Small Victories

    March 3, 2016 at 9:32 PM

    I remember going through all these emotions with my 3 boys first when they were first born and then when I transitioned from working mom to SAHM and had to take all 3 places in the summer. I agree Mommy knows her kids the best and it's just working your way through it that both you and your child need to get there.

    1. Fatima Lora

      March 4, 2016 at 10:48 AM

      Thanks, Tanya. It's a tough transition, but we just have to remember to keep our head afloat.

  4. ana de jesus

    March 3, 2016 at 11:52 PM

    Exatcly parenting is done through trial and error and there is no right way of doing it. Once you trust your abilities it all gets easier from there x

    1. Fatima Lora

      March 4, 2016 at 10:51 AM

      Yeah. It definitely takes a lot of trial and error to figure out what works best for you and your family.

  5. michele

    March 4, 2016 at 1:23 AM

    I agree with you but even more so with trusting yourself in general. The older I get, the more I realize I know whats best for me and my family and I shouldn't freak out over how everyone else does things!

    1. Fatima Lora

      March 4, 2016 at 10:52 AM

      I agree. No need to focus on what someone else doesn't approve of.

  6. Emily Glover

    March 4, 2016 at 2:37 AM

    My first baby is due in May so this was a great read. Thank you for sharing!

    1. Fatima Lora

      March 4, 2016 at 10:53 AM

      Aw, that's awesome! Congrats. I wish you a great third trimester and a healthy delivery!

  7. Amber N

    March 4, 2016 at 2:58 AM

    Oh I can so relate! All those memories are coming back to me now!

    1. Fatima Lora

      March 4, 2016 at 10:54 AM

      It's not easy, but definitely well worth it.

  8. Housewife Eclectic

    March 4, 2016 at 4:45 AM

    I think the most important thing you can learn about being a mom is to trust your gut! Great post!

    1. Fatima Lora

      March 4, 2016 at 10:54 AM

      Oh yeah. A mother's intuition is usually right.

  9. jillconyers

    March 4, 2016 at 10:50 AM

    Love this. Beginning to trust myself was life changing. Then you wonder why you didn't before.

    1. Fatima Lora

      March 4, 2016 at 10:55 AM

      Yes! That's exactly what I go through every single day. I always wonder why I didn't trust myself a little more back then.

  10. Megan McCoig

    March 4, 2016 at 6:33 PM

    What a fab post. It's so good to trust and believe in yourself, in all things, not just parenting! Loved this 🙂

    1. Fatima Lora

      March 5, 2016 at 3:18 PM

      Thanks, Megan. I agree. It's important to trust yourself in everything that you do.

  11. Colette Wright

    March 4, 2016 at 8:23 PM

    Oh I miss those days of having little ones…but when I think of the grocery scenario you mentioned I don't anymore! It's tough being a mama any way you slice it.

    1. Fatima Lora

      March 5, 2016 at 3:19 PM

      Yes! Colette, you know the struggle!

  12. blythe32

    March 4, 2016 at 9:11 PM

    I don't have kids, but am a proud aunt. I love reading about mom's experiences though, and does seem the best advice is always to trust yourself.

    1. Fatima Lora

      March 5, 2016 at 3:20 PM

      Hey, at least you get to enjoy them at their best. 😉

  13. Heather

    March 4, 2016 at 11:41 PM

    What a heartfelt post! When I had my first, I think I was completely unaware of what was going on! And then adding number two was just insane…now we have a third little one, and it somehow seems much easier. Go figure!

    1. Fatima Lora

      March 5, 2016 at 3:21 PM

      Why is that? I guess we just get used to having more on our plate so it just becomes the new norm. Haha.

  14. Tough Cookie Mommy

    March 5, 2016 at 3:56 AM

    I completely agree with you, we need to trust ourselves as parents and not be so hard on ourselves. Parenting is not easy and does not come with a manual. Most of us are doing the best job that we can.

  15. Ashleigh Walls

    March 5, 2016 at 12:41 PM

    That is one of the best things I've learned with a special needs child. I need to trust my gut a lot more.

  16. Kimberly Stroh

    March 5, 2016 at 5:39 PM

    I can totally relate! The nerves can get the best of you! It's so nice that you can blog about it and put it into perspective.

  17. Hil'Lesha O'Nan

    March 7, 2016 at 3:57 AM

    I'll admit that it's still challenging for me to go places with the both of my children even though they're 9 (he turns 10 later on this month) and 3 1/2. This is mostly due to the fact that they've ADHD. Shopping trips can be chaotic, but it just takes time and patience. 🙂

  18. Nikka Shae

    March 7, 2016 at 5:40 AM

    As a mother you have to trust your gut and pray for guidance. It was hard being a morher for the first time. I received a lot of help from my family, thank goodness.

  19. Claire C.

    March 7, 2016 at 5:48 AM

    Oh yes, motherhood instinct is real and you need to trust it as hard as it is! I'm still struggling to learn this with my 2 under 2 but getting better every day!

  20. Paula

    March 9, 2016 at 7:12 AM

    My first trip out with my son, when he was teeny tiny, was so hard. I thought I'd go get a cupcake (how hard could a trip to the store be?!), and then he had a total blowout and needed to be changed. I'd never changed him on the go before, and for some reason the back seat of the car seemed like a good idea (and of course, a changing table would have been the way to go). That was a hard day and I've become much more confident in my skills.

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