Seeing happily married couples in the media can trick you into thinking life with your partner should always be rainbows and butterflies. You’re probably wondering, are most couples happily married? A recent social media questionnaire breaks down the meaning of being happy in your marriage.
Getting to know someone can be exciting and complicated — all at once. As time goes on, you realize whether or not you can spend the rest of your life with this person.
Whatever drew you to your significant other might’ve been physical. However, their looks aren’t going to keep you satisfied in upcoming years.
There are other qualities that make a bigger impression on you.
For some, it’s the way the person acts and reacts to their being. It’s in the way your significant other takes the time to understand who you are and what makes you smile.
The person discovers these things about you while reminding you that your happiness is important.
In most cases, that smile becomes a laugh.
In fact, it’s been proven that couples who laugh together, stay together.
What Is The Meaning Of Happily Married?
How you choose to define a happy marriage depends on what you’re looking to get out of such commitment. For some, a happy marriage is when two people can respectfully share their concerns and work to improve their connection.
There’s an understanding that their relationship takes top priority over anything else and the couple makes an effort to be present during difficult times.
What Do Married Couples Do?
There are various traits of happy couples you’ll notice when engaging with others who are in serious relationships.
Among them is the ability to make each other laugh. This is a big part of being able to work through issues. When you can smile with your partner, then you’re giving each other a sense of understanding that happiness is key to you both.
Below is a list of the traits of happy couples, along with my personal thoughts on why they’re important.
- Happily married couples are committed
- They assume their partner is doing their best
- These couples respect each other when they communicate
- They laugh together
- They understand what it means to be flexible
- These couples are always curious
- The two share similar values
- Happy couples are willing to learn and grow together
Commitment is something that you learn to have early on in your relationship. Before entering a marriage, it’s important to understand your level of commitment, and where your partner stands on the topic.
Being committed to someone means that you understand things won’t be easy. It also means you’re willing to work on whatever issues you may face along the way.
Assuming that your partner is doing their best is helpful in creating a happy environment for you and your spouse. When you put in your best effort and your significant other do the same, you don’t need to question their loyalty.
Respecting each other while communicating your emotions can be tough at times, but it’s one of the traits of happy couples that I value the most.
Not only are you telling each other that your thoughts matter, but you’re also giving that person the opportunity to express themselves without judgment.
Loving someone goes beyond telling them how you feel. To love someone is to show them what you’re feeling, with respect as to how they’re feeling as well.
If you’ve watched Sex/Life on Netflix then you know the dangers of not communicating how you feel early on with your partner.
Being open about who you are and what you feel will save you headaches in your relationship.
Although a good laugh can help you through difficult times, it’s the humor couples create together that counts.
This is one of the ways you can lighten the mood when discussing your thoughts with your partner.
How much your significant other makes you laugh will impact how you feel about each other. The joy you bring to each other is key to working through the difficult moments in your marriage.
Being flexible is another trait of happily married couples because it gives them the chance to place themselves in someone else’s shoes.
Understanding that not everything will go as planned or that you will need to compromise from time to time is important.
Remember, your relationship won’t always be rainbows and butterflies. Nor would you want it to be.
Tough times are what build your relationship. Those trying moments are opportunities for you to work through the issues together, and continue to grow.
Happily married couples are curious in nature. With curiosity, you can discover more about your partner.
Whether you decide to use seed questions from popular couple games or create your own, it’s a good idea to try asking the right ones.
Scenario questions are always fun because they open up your mind to different possibilities and how your spouse would handle them.
This also ties into sharing similar values. Having hard conversations will help you get a better understanding of where their head is.
Oftentimes, people will be passionate about their values.
Sharing your values with your partner early on will minimize the chances of you two getting into heated discussions.
Growth is important for you and your partner. There’s always an opportunity for personal growth in your relationship. With time, you’ll find yourself facing various scenarios in life and you’ll feel challenged to make personal decisions.
Personal growth is only one of the benefits of being in a committed relationship. There’s always room for growth between the two of you as well.
Growing together means working out the issues that could potentially cause you to pull away from your partner. During these instances, communication places a huge part in the healing process.
Are Most Couples Happily Married?
This question of whether or not married couples are happy together is subjective. Although marriage is a commitment, it can also be seen as a “game-changer” for some.
The idea of having to change because you’re married to someone can lead to issues in your relationship.
Regardless of who you decide to tie the knot with, your decision to do so can be scary if you’re not used to the commitment.
It is true that happily married couples aren’t easy to spot. With the use of technology, it’s easy to bottle up more emotions than ever before. Oftentimes, this can lead to misunderstandings with family and friends.
We’ve all seen people on social media sharing how happy they are with someone, only to complain about them on another Facebook status.
As mentioned above, marriages that are genuinely happy communicate their emotions with one another, not with the world.
Couples who aren’t happy together often have underlying issues they need to sort. At times, this can be done with counseling or simply through day-to-day discussions.
Who Are The Happiest Couples?
Understanding what makes a happy couple is what can help break the stigma that “happily married” is an oxymoron.
It’s possible to be in a happy marriage, but it takes work. Being dedicated to your commitment is what can help get you through whatever emotions you may be feeling.
According to a study conducted by Florida State University, couples who get upset at each other early on in the relationship have a better chance of working on their issues with time.
“We all experience a time in a relationship in which a partner transgresses against us in some way,” noted James McNulty, Psychology Professor at Florida State University. “For instance, a partner may be financially irresponsible, unfaithful, or unsupportive. When these events occur, we must decide whether we should be angry and hold onto that anger, or forgive.”
Although this seems ideal for some relationships, you may find that this isn’t true for everyone. According to McNulty’s research, a variety of factors can complicate the effectiveness of forgiveness, including a partner’s level of agreeableness and the severity and frequency of the transgression.
“Believing a partner is forgiving leads agreeable people to be less likely to offend that partner and disagreeable people to be more likely to offend that partner,” he added. “There is no ‘magic bullet,’ no single way to think or behave in a relationship. The consequences of each decision we make in our relationships depend on the circumstances that surround that decision.”
Happily Married Couples: Insights From Social Media
In a recent social media questionnaire, I asked married couples whether or not they were in a happy marriage. Almost everyone (94%) said they are happily married.
However, more than half of the respondents agreed that open communication was a key ingredient to their relationship.
It was interesting to see a small percentage (15%) who said patience was important in their marriage.
Three anonymous married women agreed to share their thoughts on what they would change about their marriage.
Married Woman #1: When you know your marriage needs help, try your hardest to get the relenting partner to go to therapy. Don’t give up, but also don’t settle. I wish I would’ve pushed him more, but I didn’t and he was adamant about not going to therapy.
Married Woman #2: I sometimes wish my husband and I were on the same page, at the same time. When I want to be adventurous and spontaneous, he wants to be the strict, responsible one and vice versa.
Married Woman #3: We have different schedules and it makes it harder for us to meet in the middle. I’m an early riser and an early sleeper, and my husband is a night owl. I’m often trying to adjust my schedule in order to hang out with him even though I’m tired, it ends up not working out for the best.
Understanding what you want in your relationship is essential to the health of your marriage. It seems as though all three women are saying the same thing; they want to be in sync with their partner.
Voicing your concerns and taking action are two ways you can improve the state of your relationship. Be sure to use “I” statements instead of “You” — this takes away the blame and focuses on your emotions/concerns.
If you want to change, then you’ll need to work on it daily. Use baby steps and be consistent with what you want from your marriage.
Regardless of what happened outside of your marriage, it’s best to try and bring positive energy to the table. You can’t change whatever happened, but you can control the way you react to the occurrences.