Mar 012016

I’ve always been fascinated with couples who have been together for over 30 years. My parents will be celebrating their 40th this year and it’s been one heck of a roller coaster for them. 
Most of the couples I’ve asked say a long-term marriage is reflected upon the communication between the two parties. 
But I have to disagree. 
Creating Your Foundation
Some people will only tell you what they want you to hear, and in some cases, they might even hear what they would like you to say. 
If your relationship is built on trust, you know that whatever comes out from your significant other’s lips is the truth. And when they use a white lie to keep you from worrying too much, you take it for face value.   
And this is where communication comes in. 
Sitting your partner down in times when you sense something is wrong will help strengthen the trust between the two of you. 
Building From Trust 
Most people don’t realize how important trust is, and hold on to a relationship even after the trust they had has faded. 
But to make something work, you need to continue to work on it. Like laying out the foundation of a home, you have to build from the ground up. 
You won’t set up windows without walls. You need something to look into before you can look out of it. 
Everything you bring to the table needs to help in building your relationship. 
For some people, building good relationships come naturally. But that’s always the case for everyone. 
If they haven’t had a good example in their own home, it can be tough. 
I mentioned my parents have had a roller coaster marriage. And for a good portion of my life, I thought that was normal.
Until I started dating of course. 
I always thought being submissive was a positive thing. I thought men would yell regardless. 
But that’s not true. 
Jeff and I don’t yell at each other to get our point across, we discuss. 
I thought complaining to others solved issues. That’s not true either. 
Jeff and I talk things out. If there’s anyone we should be complaining to, it’s to each other. 
We’re not perfect, but we know what’s worked in the past and what would only cause issues in the end. 
We’ve created a family, and although our foundation has taken time to build, we’ve been able to patiently do so. 
Isn’t that what matters most? 

Fatima Torres

What's life like with three kids and two pups? It's entertaining, that's for sure! MTME breaks down family fun ideas and shares personal insights from a former B2B editor and digital marketer turned mom running a business and a household -- all under one roof. With her husband as her #1 fan, there isn't anything she can't accomplish. Read on to learn how she breathes in fire and exhales success.

Reader Comments

    1. I think it's based on the relationship you have with your partner. For me, I need to trust you before I can freely communicate with someone. And that's what has helped my husband and I open up to each other.

    1. I agree. It really has to do with how you confront people. Some will wait until they've had it and blow off steam. That's just a headache for the other person. And you suffer as well.

  1. Trust and communication are key in a relationship and go hand-in-hand. The moment you have to start playing detective in a relationship, you will not get that trust back. Without that trust, you will not communicate as you should.

  2. for me, communication is only part of it. You also have to have respect and a willingness to see the other person happy. I've been married to my husband for nearly 16 years and I love him more now than I ever had. He's a wonderful man who does many little things to show me that he cares. That's all i need.

    1. Hey TP, thanks for chiming in. I really love that you brought up how you love your husband more after 15+ years. It's beautiful (and inspiring) to know that the love between the two of you has increased with time.

    1. Thanks for taking the time out to read my post, Sarah. I have to agree. Marriage is beautiful, but you need to put in work. Like any relationship, you need to nurture it.

  3. My hubby and I have been married for going on 15 years and there have been some rough patches in our marriage. We found out early on not to try and mirror our parents relationship because a lot of what we have seen them do isn't something we want to do. We have learned from the past and are comfortable with who we are as a couple…finally!

    1. Yes! There's so much beauty in just being yourself and doing the things that work for you and your spouse. Every relationship is different, and your needs are unique.

  4. Communication is definitely a very important facet in a relationship. I learned that early on my relationship with my husband, and it is definitely something that has become very important when things get tough

  5. I trusted my husband and he had a two year affair before he walked out the door. I truly thought we had it all – a great marriage, a great family, a wonderful life. As much as we talked – he never shared that he was unhappy. It takes more than communication and trust. It also takes commitment and loyalty.

    1. :/ the toughest part of any relationship is how vulnerable we are to getting hurt. You're right. It definitely takes a lot more, but for me the base needs to be trust.

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