November is National Adoption Month and this week I am featuring one of my new favorite bloggers, Juliana Ruud of One Ruud Mom. Her posts are always so interesting, and it helps that she also considers her pup to be part of the family (I love that!) This week on MomViews, Ruud is sharing her experience with being adopted, offering her first-born up for adoption, and more.
MomViews: You hear so many stories of parents who have made the decision to offer their child up for adoption due to rape or feeling unfit to care for a child. Were you ever give the reason why your biological mother chose this option?
Juliana Ruud: My birth mother did the best that she could with my brother and me but felt like we deserved more so she gave us a life we otherwise would have never had.
MV: How did you find out you were adopted, and what was your initial reaction?
JR: I was five years old when I was adopted so it was not a secret. It took me a few years to come to terms with calling somebody else “mom” and I was not really a fan of it. I had a hard time adjusting as you can imagine any five year old would.
MV: Now that you are a mother, how has being adopted impacted your relationship with your son, Caleb?
JR: I feel like I have higher expectations of myself as a mother being adopted. I know that it is possible that there is someone out there who can give him all that he wants but I want to give him all that he needs. I have a deep sense of appreciation being able to raise a son of my own too, not everybody gets that opportunity so I feel incredibly blessed.
MV: You also have an open adoption with your daughter Ellie, can you explain your relationship with her and what led you to this decision?
JR: I knew pretty much right away that I was going to choose adoption for Ellie. For one, I was pregnant as the result of a sexual assault. Two, I benefited from being given the opportunity to grow up in a two-parent household and I wanted the same for her. Given the circumstances, I was not confident in my ability to be a single mother. I knew that there was a couple out there who could give her the love I had in a way that I couldn’t.
MV: What advice would you offer someone who was adopted and cannot seem to find it in their heart to forgive their parent(s)?
JR: Give it time but not too much time. The grudge you are holding is hurting you more than anybody. Find what you love about your story and focus on that. I know it’s easier said than done but you will be so much happier once you free yourself from the bitterness.