MomViews: I Wasn't Ready To Be A Mother
Becoming a mother is a joyous time for most women, but what happens when you are being rushed to the emergency room only to find out you’ve been carrying a baby without ever knowing it? Maritza Guzman, blogger at Surprise You Are A Mom, realized it was more than just pains, she was going into labor and there was no turning back. In this week’s MomViews series, Maritza joins us to share her story of having an unexpected pregnancy.
MomViews: Your pregnancy was a surprise, how exciting! I’m sure being rushed into labor without knowing what to expect wasn’t as exciting for you. What was your initial reaction when you found out you were going to be a mother?
Maritza Guzman: My initial reaction was “HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!?!” Thankfully I had support from my then fiance now husband. He is a big goofball so his humor soothed the situation. I didn’t really have the luxury that many parents have. For example what bottles to get, type of diapers, or to breastfeed or use formula? There were what it felt like a million options.MV: It seems you and your husband were able to cope well with the situation, how was the drive home from the hospital?
MG: I am so grateful for my husband. If it weren’t for him I would of lost my marbles! We didn’t have anything ready for the baby at all. It was more ‘let’s tackle this extremely long list of things to do.’ Not saying we lived in the most dangerous environment. We just wanted to make sure everything was close to perfect for our little surprise.
MV: Quitting your job and becoming a stay-at-home mom must’ve been tough, how did you deal with the transition the first few weeks?
MG: Yes, it was tough. Fortunately my boss understood. She hated to let me go but knew it was for the best. I’ve always worked and earned my own money. So to rely solely on my husband was an adjustment. I honestly didn’t want to quit my job. I enjoyed working, making my own money and socializing with my co-workers. After trying to being a working mom (for like a week), we soon realized that I had to quit my job. At first it was great. Don’t need to rush to get to work and all I had to do was focus on my daughter. I think a lot of moms struggle with this but I felt lonely. Everyone else is able to leave and do their own thing and I was stuck taking care of my daughter. After feeling sorry for myself I decided to change something to make myself feel better. I decided to start working out. It was my “me” time. The only time I was able to go was at night. So even if I was tired I still went. I would spend one hour or sometimes up to two hours working out. I soon saw a change not only physically but mentally. I had more energy and positive attitude. This later on encouraged me to start blogging.
MV: In what ways has becoming parents improved the relationship between you and your husband?
MG: It has created even more positive connection with one another. We are more in sync. Mind you have been together for 10 years now. This experience has taught us to be even more patient not only with our daughter but also with each other. We now want to spend even more time together more than ever. Overall this has strengthened our relationship.
MV: What advice would you give a woman who found out she is going to be a mother and thinks she’s not ready to be a mother?
MG: I would say to relax. You are probably are over thinking a million scenarios that might not happen with your child. You are not the first or last woman to have given birth. Stressing out over every little detail to have the perfect birth is not realistic.Things never go as plan. So try to relax. Like with anything we have our strengths in some areas and weaknesses in others. Over time you will learn how to change a diaper under a minute or learn the different kind of cries of your baby. It all takes time and patience. You will learn through your experiences. Cause trust me there will be plenty of mistakes but don’t focus on those mistakes. You will have so many precious memories with your little one that it will overshadow it.