MomViews: Experiencing Mom Guilt

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Mom guilt is real, and oftentimes I find myself taking the blame for things that are beyond my control. This week on MomViews, I’m sharing how easy it is to become your own worst enemy.

Becoming a stay-at-home mom was one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever made. It requires you to be selfless at all times, and it can really make things difficult

It took me years to realize the value in my everyday life. Going from working full-time and being independent to full-time mom and Being home with our boys might drive me insane at times, but it’s well worth it. There are times I think about going back to working outside of the home. Just thinking about the freedom of being able to focus on a task instead of having to get up more than five times as I try to finish an email.

I’ve had several discussions with Jeff about how I feel when things don’t go my way or the way I would imagine it would. The trouble I always ran into is being able to find value in myself and my capabilities.

Parenting As An Adult
Some people say when you become a parent, you pretty much know what to expect. Not once did it cross my mind how hard it would be.

When I first stepped into the role of parenting I thought it was going to be a lot easier. Caring for baby dolls is nothing like caring for a child in real life.

There were moments I would beat myself up about something that was beyond my control. Adding a second child didn’t make it easier. I remember crazy days followed by long nights. When the boys were younger, a good day meant I had time to shower and clean up our home.

Today, good days are the ones where we get to spend time together and explore somewhere new or visit one of our favorite places. Even on days where we just stay home and order out, those often mean our home will be a mess, and that’s okay.

A mess means we had fun. We made the kids smile and that they’re still alive. 

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22 Comments

  1. Lucy Valdez

    October 12, 2016 at 8:12 AM

    So true! When I went from a regular FT job to a PT job I took over a lot moreof the responsibilities at home…it’s definitely a give & take..

  2. Carol Cassara

    October 12, 2016 at 10:11 AM

    I am not a mother but through friends and my sister, I definitely understand where the mom guilt is coming from. It would be great for you guys to not put too much pressure on yourselves and just let go from time to time.

  3. Kristy Mauna

    October 13, 2016 at 10:10 AM

    This is perfect!
    Being a stay at home mom there are times where I feel bad if the house isn’t spotless.. Like why couldn’t I get that done during the day? I’ve gotten a lot better about it though. Allowing myself to just enjoy little moments at home with the kids instead of worrying about every single task needed to be done.

    1. Fatima Torres

      October 16, 2016 at 4:31 PM

      I know exactly what you mean. I’ve been staring at this pile of laundry that needs to be folded. I think it’s starting to give me the middle finger because I’ve been ignoring it for more than 3 days.

  4. angie

    October 16, 2016 at 9:33 PM

    mom guilt something that often affects us because while we know what is right and lessons need to be taught there are many times that we feel guilty for what we do or do not do
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  5. Ima

    October 17, 2016 at 5:59 AM

    I’m no mom, but I think i see this occasionally in the face of my mom.
    Mother’s definitely do a lot for the home in general, and it’s so beautiful, but it’s never easy, so it’s okay to not to okay every once in a while.

  6. Tyane

    October 17, 2016 at 7:12 AM

    I struggle with mom guilt. I went from a FT job to SAHM after my youngest was born. I was also clueless as to how difficult it was going to be with constant demands from a baby and toddler, instead of a boss. Or since my only shot of adult interaction is when my husband gets home. I was in mommy groups, but my work-at home-job and blog took over social life. I’ve learned to be a little more balanced, but I feel like I have a ways to go, sometimes.

  7. Tasheena @ SimplyTasheena.com

    October 17, 2016 at 8:10 AM

    I know what you mean. I definitely have mom guilt. I’ve learned that as long as the kids are happy. That’s all that matters.

  8. Amber Myers

    October 17, 2016 at 2:02 PM

    Yes, I try not to panic over messes. They happen. I had more mom guilt in the beginning and now I don’t have as much.

  9. Peace Kairu

    October 17, 2016 at 2:29 PM

    My plan is to be a full time mum and this has definetely opened my eyes thanks for your honesty. Loved it

  10. Crystal Gard

    October 17, 2016 at 8:22 PM

    I’m not a mom yet but from friends I’ve seen mom guilt

  11. Bre | Maintaining Me

    October 17, 2016 at 10:19 PM

    Love this article! Mom guilt is so real! I’m glad you wrote about it!

  12. Our Family World

    October 18, 2016 at 9:42 AM

    I’ve been there, mom guilt was real. I just do inhale exhale and sometimes sharing your story is the best.

  13. parpar de real

    October 18, 2016 at 10:03 AM

    Such a good post for the moms out there, I am excited to tell this to my wife.

  14. Ashlea

    October 18, 2016 at 12:18 PM

    Mom guilt is something a lot of mothers face. I am trying to catch up on my blogging from having a sick baby. My house is a mess and its driving me insane. I feel guilty like I should be cleaning it instead of sitting behind a computer working.

    1. Fatima Torres

      October 18, 2016 at 12:20 PM

      I’ve been through this so many times before, yet I still get upset with myself when the house is a mess and I’ve been working most of the day. Honestly, the house can wait and so can work. If your child(ren) need you, that’s number one! I hope your little one is feeling better. It’s not easy, but that’s the beauty of motherhood… you learn to balance it all! 🙂

  15. Jaycie Sullivan

    October 18, 2016 at 12:18 PM

    Wow, for someone without kids, this was an insightful look into parenting. Good read!

    1. Fatima Torres

      October 18, 2016 at 12:21 PM

      You’re welcome. Like most things in life, it doesn’t come easy… 🙂

  16. Rain

    October 18, 2016 at 2:36 PM

    i felt guilt from having to work but, i made sure that I made it to all of their events and my free time was spent with them. I did the best I could and I know they appreciate it.

  17. Jill Conyers

    October 18, 2016 at 8:52 PM

    I know mom guilt all too well. Happy to say I’m no longer that familiar with it.

  18. Elizabeth O.

    October 19, 2016 at 3:33 AM

    It’s easy to feel guilty when it comes to our kids because we always want the best for them. It took me a long time before I realized that I should stop being hard on myself and just make sure that I give my kids the life that they deserve without having to pressure myself so much.

  19. Parenting: The Juggling Act - Motherhood Through My Eyes

    October 22, 2016 at 11:07 AM

    […] The demands of everyday life can get overwhelming. I’ve discussed it in my recent post on how I’ve been dealing with mom guilt. […]

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