Becoming a parent can really change a person’s point of view of life for the better, and sometimes you end up finding out who you really are. But what if you found your true self and love who you are? I recently had the chance to chat with Amanda Steinberg, blogger at The Anti Mom Blog, who shared some interesting points on staying yourself, with a baby.
MomViews: Mom blogs have been around for quite some time. Reviewing products, sharing recipes and day-to-day “mom” tasks have been discussed in various ways on numerous websites that it is almost impossible to come up with fresh content. Sometimes I have trouble thinking of new topics to share with readers. How do you come up with topics to discuss on Anti Mom blog?
Amanda Steinberg: Some topics are more easy to think of than others, that’s for sure! I draw a lot of inspiration from my every day life – from things I come across when running errands, to people I meet, to things around my house and everything in between. Of course with my own, fun twists. I know not everyone wants to hear about my kids as much as lets say their grandparents do, but I do like to tie them to a few posts here and there, hoping other parents can relate or just for a good laugh!
MV: Is there a certain topic you really enjoy writing about?
AS: I absolutely love writing about food and recipes. Since I was a kid, I loved cooking but didn’t really start experimenting with recipes till I was in my late twenties. Both my husband and I are huge foodies and are constantly trying new restaurants and new ingredients to cook up. I know what you are thinking – “The Anti Mom Blog loves being domestic?” – I am a walking cliche! But when you grow up with a family of chefs, you are bound to end up loving food and I just love sharing that passion!
MV: Like most moms, you researched what “mom life” would be like and something turned you off about it. The thought of having your life become all about being a mom scared you. Can you share what went through your mind at that point in your life?
AS: I was terrified! My husband and I had only been married about 2 months when I found out I was pregnant and we were both scared/nervous of this next step in our lives. We wanted to enjoy married life for a couple years before we started a family, but nothing goes as plans and life loves to throw curve balls at you! I didn’t know if I was ready to take on such a huge responsibility and that terrified both me and my husband. I turned to the internet to maybe find some ‘voice of reason’ in all this and that’s when I started reading mom related blogs. I couldn’t understand how some of these sites were all so upbeat and happy all the time. How their houses always seemed to be clean (or just portrayed), how these moms always had it together or how everything was based around their kids. I wanted to read what it was really like — the good, the bad and the ugly! I wanted to read other things that weren’t baby or kid related. I was searching for a place that told me the cold hard truth about life with kids and I frankly had a hard time finding that. So when my daughter was about 6 months old, that is when I started The Anti Mom Blog – I wanted to give other new mom’s and mommies-to-be a place to come and learn the truth of everyday parenthood and give them a laugh or two along the way! I basically wanted it to be the complete opposite of all other “mom blogs”.
MV: You have been with your husband for 5+ years and it seems to be a very happy relationship. Do you think it has to do with your “anti-mom” philosophy of not losing yourself after motherhood?
AS: I try my hardest to keep that mentality of the Anti-Mom in the back of my head when it comes to our relationship. Don’t get me wrong, we do have our moments but he has never wanted to turn into those parents that lose themselves in parenthood. It is a huge help that he feels the same way I do about building upon on our identities instead of losing them when we have kids. I mean, the last thing we wanted to become was the couple who only talked about their kids and couldn’t hold a normal conversation. We both still wanted to enjoy our time with together and still have a life outside of parenthood. Being on the same page and able to balance each other out helps out a lot!
MV: What tips would you offer a first-time mom who questions whether or not she is losing her identity to “mom life”?
AS: 1. Always make time for yourself; whether it be going for a pedicure, reading a book, watching TV or just taking a nice long bath – you need that “me” time for not only yourself, but for your family!
2. Always make time for your relationships; not just significant other, but friends and family, too. Have a girls night out once a month, go on weekly date nights with your husband/wife, plan yearly trips, or by simply just having dinner together.
3. Have a hobby. Do something that you loved before having kids and keep with it while you are raising them. If it’s playing a sport, going to the gym, cooking, biking or shopping – whatever makes you feel rewarded/proud/happy, keep doing it!
4. Embrace the “mom” part of your identity. That doesn’t mean dressing in mom jeans or driving a mini van. Being a mom is the best, most rewarding job out there and the quicker you embrace the awesomeness of being a mom, the easier it will be for the rest to fall into place.
Thanks for joining me this week. Stop by next Wednesday for more insights from moms like you. Also, do not forget to check out previous MomViews posts.