Mar 302017
The Perks Of Having A Supportive Husband

Finding someone to spend the rest of your life with is great, but having that person support you and your dreams is even better.

I met my husband at a time when I wasn’t thinking about settling down or meeting the man of my dreams. However, I’d be lying if I told you I hadn’t set up a list of all the necessary things I wanted in a significant other.

Before meeting my husband more than four years ago, we each had been single for more than three years. Our focus had been on our own future.

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Life has a funny way of showing you all the wonderful reasons to smile. I believe one of them was introducing me to Jeff.

Yes, we’ve had our ups and downs, but they’ve been a blessing for us. Each time we’ve had it rough, we’ve held hands and continued our journey. We’ve been able to experience some of the most precious moments of life together, and for that, I’m forever grateful.

I might not know where life will take us, but I know where it’s taken us thus far. Together, it feels as though we can accomplish anything that comes our way.

We give each other strength in times of weakness, and love in times of hurt. We complement each other well. He works with numbers, I work with letters. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He’s left-handed and I’m a righty. You get it.

The list goes on.

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How Being A Supportive Husband Helps

The amount of support I receive from Jeff is inspiring. Even at my lowest point, I’ve been able to lean on him for support.

Before making any big decisions with my blog or freelance work, I always consult with him. He’s like a business partner, and in many ways, being in a marriage with kids is like running a business. Your products are your kids and you work together to keep your company from going into bankruptcy.

Love fuels much of our daily life together, and it keeps us fighting to see the light at the tunnel. Through Jeff’s love and support, I’m able to do the following:

Make the most out of the time we have with our little ones

Jeff works full time to provide for us, and the number of hours he puts in is inspiring. He’s great at what he does and has been the backbone of creating the life we live today.

Days off are days we spend off the grid. We travel together with our family — pups included. 

Push me a little further each time 

Although I’m intrinsically motivated, there are times I need to hear someone else’s advice. Jeff has taught me a lot about being more organized with my thoughts and creating processes to execute day-to-day tasks. He has a way of making sense out of things when they seem odd.

Love wholeheartedly

Knowing that he loves and supports me through everything has given me the capability to open up my heart without the fear of getting hurt. Shutting down has always been one of my defense mechanisms. I don’t feel that way with him.

Appreciate the simple things

I’ve always considered myself to be somewhat of a minimalist, but Jeff has shown me a different level of what it means to cut down on things. There was a time in my life that I thought being pampered — nails, hair and the right makeup — was going to make me feel beautiful. There are other reasons to smile in life, and it doesn’t have a price tag.

How To Deal With An Unsupportive Husband

Although I’ve been fortunate to have a spouse who genuinely cares about my blog and even offers feedback, I do know of other moms who struggle with an unsupportive husband.

Most of the time, it’s because they don’t understand the value of what you’re doing. They often question whether you’re wasting resources, and there’s no immediate gratification.

For moms who are in this position, I often tell them to create a schedule and never work when their spouse is around. Not doing so can prevent arguments.

One thing I will advise is not to do it behind your spouse’s back. Regardless of what you think it might turn into, I don’t think hiding what you do will help. I know a family member who did this, and it led to a lot of heated discussions.

By creating a schedule, you’ll be able to focus on the essentials. One of the ways I like to make time for both family and friends is by setting up alarms on my phone.

I used to have what each alarm meant throughout the day, but it would cause confusion for family and friends who would hear them go off.

I fixed the problem by using emojis instead. Here’s a screenshot of what my alarms look like today:

how to deal with an unsupportive husband and create a supportive one
These emojis are a lot easier to understand and helpful throughout the day.

Another way I advise moms on how to deal with a not-so supportive husband is to write down everything they’re doing to reach their goal. A bonus would be to invest less money and more time when possible.

Why You Should Be Supportive Of Your Husband Too

There are times when we feel overwhelmed with everyday things that we forget how to appreciate others.

When my husband and I moved in together we had help from nearby family and friends. It wasn’t until we moved to South Florida that we learned how to rely on each other.

At first, I didn’t think the idea of being a stay-at-home mom was fair. My husband would continue to advance in his career while I was home with our six-month-old.

Although I wanted to be happy for my husband and all the opportunities he continued to receive, I couldn’t be. I wanted to be happy for myself as well. You know what they say, you can’t be happy for others if you’re not happy with yourself.

That’s where I struggled. Fortunately, I was able to turn my stay-at-home role into a work-at-home one. Having a supportive partner made the transition much easier than most. He loved seeing me happy and he knew it also kept me sane.

Whether you have a supportive husband or not, showing him support can be helpful. Doing so might inspire an unsupportive husband to do the same.

Also, showing someone you love the support you’d like to receive from them can help strengthen your relationship. There’s nothing more beautiful than being able to lean on someone when you need them the most.

Please understand that a supportive hubby doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes there might be tension in other aspects of your relationship. These will need to be addressed before you will see changes in your partner.

This brings up the importance of communication. In all relationships, communication is what helps you get through everyday life. Be sure you’re communicating with your spouse on the things that matter to you.

You can also communicate through your actions as well. Listening to their thoughts can be a wonderful way to communicate you are there for them, no matter what.

Reminding your spouse of how much you love them is another way to show them you care and are willing to support them through their decisions.

Acknowledging problems is a great way to help your spouse re-evaluate things. For instance, if your partner is investing too much time on something, it’s important to discuss a gameplan together.

Is there anyone in your life that pushes you to keep going? Tell me about it in a comment below.

The Perks of having A Supportive Husband

Fatima Torres

What's life like with three kids and two pups? It's entertaining, that's for sure! MTME breaks down family fun ideas and shares personal insights from a former B2B editor and digital marketer turned mom running a business and a household -- all under one roof. With her husband as her #1 fan, there isn't anything she can't accomplish. Read on to learn how she breathes in fire and exhales success.

Reader Comments

  1. We all need a partner in life that will support us all the way. That support is not only our motivation but our inspiration as well. It drives us to become and do better. It’s so nice that you found a husband who supports you no matter what.

  2. Having a partner means having someone to lean on for support and it’s really one of the best things about falling in love and being in a relationship. I think it’s awesome that you and your husband support each other, that’s really how it should work.

  3. it’s always nice to have a supportive husband! i also do have one! the reason wwhy i keep gaining weight! he’s very supportive that he didnt even mind me eating too much! haha

  4. What a wonderful post! Truly! There is NOTHING better than a supportive spouse! My husband is not “Mr. Romance” in the typical ways but he does things for me that others may consider out of the ordinary that mean the world to me. He also has always supported me in my career choices without blinking an eye. You and I, are very lucky!
    Thank you for sharing part of your story.

  5. I am a supportive husband and I know my wife feels that way too. The way you can’t clap with one hand, life has to have both partners supportive of each other.

  6. This makes such a huge difference in life. I am also blessed with a supportive loving husband. We have four kids and it can be overwhelming, but he is always there for me.

  7. It’s great that your husband is so supportive! It’s very important to have that in a marriage. My husband is also very supportive to me as I am to him. We work together in our decisions as a family and we also own a photography business together.

  8. Having a loving and supportive spouse is the BEST! I’ve been married to my soul mate for almost 30 years. In that time we’ve raised 3 kids, gone through cancer and life threatening illness which left me as a quadruple amputee. His love never wavered. I’m thankful that God has brought us together and guided us through our lives.

  9. For any relationship to work (and last forever), there should be mutual support and understanding between the couple. My husband and I have our differences, but we use those differences to compliment and bond together as a unit. Let me give you an example of our differences – He’s Caucasian. I’m Asian. He loves chicken, I hate it. He can’t stand the sight of fish heads. I like them breaded, deep fried and crispy. Hahaha.

    1. That’s an interesting perspective, Eileen. I think you’re right, the differences can often bring you closer. My husband is left-handed, I’m a righty. We see the world differently at times.

    1. Thank you, Rose. I couldn’t agree more. Oftentimes you hear about an unsupportive husband, and that’s always tough. I have a family member who went through this. It ended in divorce.

  10. “You can’t be happy for others if you’re not happy with yourself.” – this statement is so true. Glad you found happiness inside of you and have a supportive partner.

  11. You’re blessed and lucky to have found a supportive husband. We’re not yet married, but my boyfriend supports me with my blogging and that matters already. πŸ™‚

  12. Love the idea of the emojis on your alarms! I am a stay-at-home mom to our 7-month-old and I find that I have to have several alarms going off all day to keep me on track! Otherwise it will be 1:00pm and I’ll realize I haven’t eaten or fed the dogs yet! I’m going to try this!

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