Finding someone to spend the rest of your life with is great, but having that person support you and your dreams is even better.
I met my husband at a time when I wasn’t thinking about settling down or meeting the man of my dreams. However, I’d be lying if I told you I hadn’t set up a list of all the necessary things I wanted in a significant other.
Before meeting my husband more than four years ago, we each had been single for more than three years. Our focus had been on our own future.
Life has a funny way of showing you all the wonderful reasons to smile. I believe one of them was introducing me to Jeff.
Yes, we’ve had our ups and downs, but they’ve been a blessing for us. Each time we’ve had it rough, we’ve held hands and continued our journey. We’ve been able to experience some of the most precious moments of life together, and for that, I’m forever grateful.
I might not know where life will take us, but I know where it’s taken us thus far. Together, it feels as though we can accomplish anything that comes our way.
We give each other strength in times of weakness, and love in times of hurt. We complement each other well. He works with numbers, I work with letters. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He’s left-handed and I’m a righty. You get it.
How Being A Supportive Husband Helps
The amount of support I receive from Jeff is inspiring. Even at my lowest point, I’ve been able to lean on him for support.
Before making any big decisions with my blog or freelance work, I always consult with him. He’s like a business partner, and in many ways, being in a marriage with kids is like running a business. Your products are your kids and you work together to keep your company from going into bankruptcy.
Love fuels much of our daily life together, and it keeps us fighting to see the light at the tunnel. Through Jeff’s love and support, I’m able to do the following:
Make the most out of the time we have with our little ones
Jeff works full time to provide for us, and the number of hours he puts in is inspiring. He’s great at what he does and has been the backbone of creating the life we live today.
Days off are days we spend off the grid. We travel together with our family — pups included.
Push me a little further each time
Although I’m intrinsically motivated, there are times I need to hear someone else’s advice. Jeff has taught me a lot about being more organized with my thoughts and creating processes to execute day-to-day tasks. He has a way of making sense out of things when they seem odd.
Knowing that he loves and supports me through everything has given me the capability to open up my heart without the fear of getting hurt. Shutting down has always been one of my defense mechanisms. I don’t feel that way with him.
Appreciate the simple things
I’ve always considered myself to be somewhat of a minimalist, but Jeff has shown me a different level of what it means to cut down on things. There was a time in my life that I thought being pampered — nails, hair and the right makeup — was going to make me feel beautiful. There are other reasons to smile in life, and it doesn’t have a price tag.
How To Deal With An Unsupportive Husband
Although I’ve been fortunate to have a spouse who genuinely cares about my blog and even offers feedback, I do know of other moms who struggle with an unsupportive husband.
Most of the time, it’s because they don’t understand the value of what you’re doing. They often question whether you’re wasting resources, and there’s no immediate gratification.
For moms who are in this position, I often tell them to create a schedule and never work when their spouse is around. Not doing so can prevent arguments.
One thing I will advise is not to do it behind your spouse’s back. Regardless of what you think it might turn into, I don’t think hiding what you do will help. I know a family member who did this, and it led to a lot of heated discussions.
By creating a schedule, you’ll be able to focus on the essentials. One of the ways I like to make time for both family and friends is by setting up alarms on my phone.
I used to have what each alarm meant throughout the day, but it would cause confusion for family and friends who would hear them go off.
I fixed the problem by using emojis instead. Here’s a screenshot of what my alarms look like today:
Another way I advise moms on how to deal with a not-so supportive husband is to write down everything they’re doing to reach their goal. A bonus would be to invest less money and more time when possible.
Why You Should Be Supportive Of Your Husband Too
There are times when we feel overwhelmed with everyday things that we forget how to appreciate others.
When my husband and I moved in together we had help from nearby family and friends. It wasn’t until we moved to South Florida that we learned how to rely on each other.
At first, I didn’t think the idea of being a stay-at-home mom was fair. My husband would continue to advance in his career while I was home with our six-month-old.
Although I wanted to be happy for my husband and all the opportunities he continued to receive, I couldn’t be. I wanted to be happy for myself as well. You know what they say, you can’t be happy for others if you’re not happy with yourself.
That’s where I struggled. Fortunately, I was able to turn my stay-at-home role into a work-at-home one. Having a supportive partner made the transition much easier than most. He loved seeing me happy and he knew it also kept me sane.
Whether you have a supportive husband or not, showing him support can be helpful. Doing so might inspire an unsupportive husband to do the same.
Also, showing someone you love the support you’d like to receive from them can help strengthen your relationship. There’s nothing more beautiful than being able to lean on someone when you need them the most.
Please understand that a supportive hubby doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes there might be tension in other aspects of your relationship. These will need to be addressed before you will see changes in your partner.
This brings up the importance of communication. In all relationships, communication is what helps you get through everyday life. Be sure you’re communicating with your spouse on the things that matter to you.
You can also communicate through your actions as well. Listening to their thoughts can be a wonderful way to communicate you are there for them, no matter what.
Reminding your spouse of how much you love them is another way to show them you care and are willing to support them through their decisions.
Acknowledging problems is a great way to help your spouse re-evaluate things. For instance, if your partner is investing too much time on something, it’s important to discuss a gameplan together.