One of the most valuable lessons I’ve ever learned after becoming a parent has been to trust myself.
You can really drive yourself insane by searching on Google for every little thing you come across as a parent.
After my son turned one I gave up panicking about the slightest things. It was like a gift to myself: No more acting like psycho Tima.
Of course, I couldn’t do it without a pep talk from his godmother and my long-time friend, Meli. She’s always been known to slap some sense into me.
Learning The Ropes
I know it only seems easier than it really is, but there are times I just don’t know how in the world I manage to raise these boys.
I joke around with Jeff saying that whenever I have to go out with our boys, I feel like a single mother. And it can really feel that way.
For a long time — practically most of the first year we spent here in South Florida — I feared going food shopping with my son. I would stack up on everything so I wouldn’t have to do it again for a while.
Genius move, right? Not really.
Shopping was the easy part. Unpacking our car was the toughest. It would take me a good 10 minutes to unload the car when I had Sebastian. I was constantly trying to figure out the best way to unload the car and still nurse him back to sleep when we’d come in from the store.
It was like a nightmare! He’d cry, I’d get frustrated. Forget it! I’d bring the food inside the entrance of our home and deal with putting it all away after I cared for the little one.
But then I tried something even more brilliant. We added a second child to the mix. This time, I knew trusting myself was what I really needed to do.
With my first-born, I had to do a lot of soul-searching and figuring out not only about myself but the best way to care for my son. Jeff helped a lot during this crazy time in my life.
I think I cried more than both kids combined.
The first time I left our home with both kids, I was a lot stronger. Of course I questioned if I could even do it, but when I saw the Mama & Papa, I knew I was set.
When we arrived to the store, I strapped our newborn to my chest in the Mama & Papa like Rambo headed to fight.
I was ready for whatever was to come.
And our toddler was ready right there with me. We walked side by side, hand in hand. We were going to conquer this trip.
But then the crying started. You know, the newborn “I’m hungry” cry.
We picked up the essentials from Costco and headed to the food court — it’s been a tradition for Sebastian and I. Popped a boob out, and fed the little guy while the toddler and I shared a pizza and sweet tea.
Now, this was the “new” me. The old me would’ve rushed out of Costco and into the car and fed my hungry baby. I would’ve forgotten about my own needs, and catered to his.
But there was no need to jump into action if we were already going to eat as a family. Plus, I need to set a good example for the boys in showing them how important it is to manage their time.
This time around, I’ve learned to trust myself in making the right decision for my family. Although getting out of the house might seem like challenge with two little ones, it’s a blessing to see their happy faces.
Former B2B editor and marketer turned Family & Lifestyle blogger. Fatima is passionate about life and being social.
When she isn't running around with her husband, three kids, and two pups, Fatima helps other bloggers and local businesses with their online marketing strategy.
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