The dating scene has never been easy, and social media doesn’t make it any easier. Oftentimes as a teen, I found myself searching for information about my friends’ new love interest. I did this to protect them from getting hurt.
Nothing can prepare you for what others might be using the information available online. I’ve always said, if someone wanted to stalk you, they will.
Stories like his are often seen on Dateline NBC or other crime scene shows I watched as a young adult.
Getting To Know You
Many of the information you find on social media about someone can be easily misinterpreted. Oftentimes it’s the quiet ones that you’d never suspect to have some interesting photos to share in your DMs.
The truth is, getting to know yourself can be a blessing. Not many young adults do this, but it can help them understand their wants and needs.
Some of the lessons I’ve learned from watching You on Netflix have involved the topic of love. Below are 7 of these lessons:
1. Learn to accept yourself.
It’s easy to fall for someone because they have the qualities you’ve always wanted for yourself. Accepting who you are, or who you’ve become, is important for your relationship. Not everyone will accept you, but if you’ve accepted who you are, then nothing else matters.
2. Be a friend first.
Whether you love someone or love the idea of someone, it’s important to be able to differentiate the two. Treating someone as a friend is always a good idea. It can help you get to know the person better.
Regardless of the connection, some of the best relationships start as friendships and can end there.
3. Ask the right questions.
Most people ask common questions about a person, like what their favorite color is or what they want to do in life. Honestly, these are interesting questions, but one of the key ways to getting to know someone is to ask them the right questions. These include: How do you spend your time? What hobbies do you have? etc.
4. Always pay attention to how the person treats their family and friends.
One of the lessons I learned as a young adult was the value of family. Dating someone who doesn’t respect their family or spend time with them may be a red flag.
5. Open your eyes. Red flags are there from the beginning.
Sometimes you can choose to ignore the red flags you’ve noticed in the beginning, and even make excuses for them. In fact, those excuses will come back to haunt you. They did haunt Beck and even Joe while he was dating Candace in You on Netflix.
6. Make sure you’re honest with the person you’re dating.
Honesty is important, and nothing sets someone off like knowing they’re being lied to. Treat the other person as you’d like to be treated — with love and respect.
7. Trust your gut.
I can’t count how many situations I’ve avoided by simply trusting my gut. Like the time I was crying in bed and a friend asked me to go out with him and his friend. Regardless of how well you know someone, or think you know them, you never want to put yourself in a situation you don’t need to be in.
Even if you find yourself vulnerable, you can always avoid falling into a possible trap.
BONUS: Your past will always find you.
It doesn’t matter what you do in the future, your past will always be there to remind you of whatever you did wrong. Be okay with whatever it was, even if others may not approve.